God I thank you and love you more than words can express!!!∞
Jesus I thank you and love you more than words can express!!!∞
Holy Spirit I thank you and love you more than words can express!!!∞
Just wanted to take the time to give thanks and praise to my strength source, Amen!
Now…
Hey y’all,
I want to start by just saying that I Love you and am sending positive thoughts out to everyone who could use it.
And now I’m just gonna dive right on in😉…
I have learned not to question much of anything these days because only God knows how many things I’ve been through and how much I have truly had to endure throughout my life with no support system in the physical.
Usually when people fall on hard times we hear them say that they leaned on their support system to get them through, whether that be family, friends, church members or whomever. I on the other hand have always been the support for others even when I was in dire need of support myself and have never really had someone who was there to support me. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, I have always been seen as the strong one who could handle it, even during times when I may not have felt that way.
The people that I had in my life outside of my children that I felt genuinely loved us are all dead. That includes my parents, sister, and brother. My children only have me as well and that’s the part that still kind of bothers me especially since I am their only parent (the other is also deceased).
For whatever reason God has allowed me to continue to still be strong and thrive despite many setbacks, and I am truly forever grateful for that.
There was a brief period of time in my earlier years of life when I allowed my hurt to turn into anger, and that didn’t feel right to me because honestly it was just I didn’t understand why so much tragedy was happening to and around me, and I wasn’t really angry, I was hurting. Although I eventually got back to my loving self (thank God it was before I became a parent), the tragedies and horrible things didn’t just miraculously end.
Even now in the present day I am experiencing one of the most difficult times in my life, which says a lot given what I have been through. However, it seems crazy because I am also experiencing pure happiness and peace within, which is something that I wasn’t sure I’d ever truly experience. I have learned some time ago not to internalize the things that I have no control over despite many attempts by people and situations that have tried to break me.
I have literally even been asked “why are you so strong?”, and my answer is it is all because of God. I have often been told things like – “Oh, I would have never guessed that you’ve been through that”, and very insensitive things such as “Oh, you can handle it”, and “you’re a good one, because if that happened to me I would have…(insert something absurd here)”, and let’s not forget the “you have to stay strong because do you know how many people are depending on you?”, and they weren’t even talking about my babies. There is honestly no other answer outside of God that I could give that would explain how I am still standing today. My strength, although greatly appreciated by me, is not something that I can take most of the credit for. There have been many times when I felt like giving up would have been the much easier option, but fortunately that’s just not the way I was built.
I am not one of those people that wishes that others experience the things that I have so that they could and would understand certain things and how it feels to walk in my shoes, but instead I am happy for them that they can’t understand it and have never experienced anything like it. So I pray for them, because despite what it may look like it definitely isn’t easy.
I have learned through strangers and their stories that I am definitely not unique in this situation, but one thing that has been consistent when hearing or reading other people’s life stories is that the strong one usually has no one or nowhere to turn for support. And it’s not because we don’t reach out for help, because we definitely do, but after so many tries and so many years of trying you kinda just learn to trust yourself and lean on God for support. The great thing in that is that it proves that He is not only real, but able to do exceedingly and abundantly anything that we could ever imagine plus more.
I had to get to know God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and all of God’s helpers on my own because seeing how others used these things for unintended purposes like molesting, scheming, and for financial gain, and not really to connect with The Source, it has definitely tried my faith in the past. People and religion often tend to put God into a box, and I know all too well that however big that box is, He definitely can’t fit in it.
Well, I won’t hold up much more of your time (right now anyway 😊), and I know that what’s written here may not be perfect but believe it or not I get tired too and I am staying true to my word and being more present. Just know that this is not the space where you will get perfection, but you will get honesty and sincerity.
Now, with all of that being said, if you are one of us who has been through more than your fair share of tough times, and even if you haven’t and just need some encouraging words, although it may not provide much relief, I hope that you can find some comfort in knowing that there are people out here praying for you, your peace, your health, your physical and emotional wellbeing, and who truly and sincerely wish you well and Love you as the individual you are!
Wishing you much joy and happiness today and everyday…
Thank you so much for sharing some of your precious time here with me. You are truly appreciated!
Peace ♥
Empress N.